[Promotum] How many terrorists to screw in a light bulb?

[Edmund A. Hintz]

 Ten to study at a university in the West to learn how to weaponize the 
lightbulb. Two to recruit one lightbulb-screwer and 4 back-ups with 
promises of 77 self-renewing virgins in paradise upon mission completion. 
Three to acquire 5 (unnecessary) fake-lightbulb screwing permits.  One to 
videotape the statement of the lightbulb-screwer for media release as 
well as to document 400 joyous demonstrators chanting slogans of victory 
over the evil infidels after the lightbulb has been successfully screwed. 
 One spokesperson to explain that it is every devout Muslim's duty to 
screw in lightbulbs anywhere they may be encountered, and that crusaders 
are bent on denying true believers access to sockets and bulbs out of a 
Satanic desire to destroy Islam.

Collateral damage: 3308.  One Al-Jazeera commentator to speculate that 
actually the lightbulb was screwed in by the Mossad to frame Islamic 
nations.  One talk show host to suggest "How to talk to your children 
about screwing... and we don't mean making love!" One union spokesman to 
protest the continuing trend of undocumented workers taking the place of 
licensed electricians. One Democrat to call for the federalization of 
lightbulb-screwers.  One Republican to sponsor legislation requiring all 
lightbulbs to be manufactured by Lockheed Martin under contract to the 
Office of Homeland Security, and urging immediate retribution: "For every 
lightbulb of ours they screw in, we'll screw in a hundred of theirs!"  
One White House press secretary to condemn the use of unpatriotic 
expressions such as  "I had a lightbulb moment."  One US anchor to opine 
"the next lightbulb to be affected may be one in YOUR neighborhood." One 
FBI director to ask Americans to be alert to tightly screwed lightbulbs 
as shut-down branches of government are checked to ensure that 
<i>their</i> lightbulbs are indeed "loosey goosey" -- all while 
recommending business as usual in the face of further imminent lightbulb 
screwings-in. Three thousand three hundred citizens to report that their 
lightbulbs are suspiciously firmly screwed in, stretching the resources 
of OSHA to the breaking point.


Peace,

Edmund A. Hintz              **|**     "You may say I'm a dreamer,
Mac Techie, Unix Geek,      *  |  *      But I'm not the only one...
Mac/Unix Consultant        *  /|\  *     I hope someday you'll join us,
<ed@hintz.org>              */ | \*      And the world will live as one.
'78 Westy                    *****      Imagine."
                     http://www.hintz.org